Category : Satire

Leeds Student who Refuses the Plastic Straw also Refuses to Clean up their Rubbish in Hyde Park

9 months ago / 0 comments

A student from the University of Leeds who refuses the plastic straw has admitted to not giving a shit about leaving their rubbish in Hyde Park. The student, who wishes to remain anonymous, said they didn’t realise that reducing the world’s consumption of plastic was more than just a fad, … Read More

University to offer therapy porcupines to students

11 months ago / 0 comments

Leeds University is to offer therapy porcupines for students, in an apparent wellbeing exercise, designed to ease student’s stress. Prickly creatures not known for their affection, University administrators have arranged for the hedgehog-type creatures to be brought to campus next week. Easily accessible in the locked toilet of the Laidlaw … Read More

Shock as students realise posting photos of revision on social media has no effect on overall exam grade

12 months ago / 0 comments

As exam season ends and results are released, Leeds students are finding themselves shocked and upset as their grades fall short of their expectations. A whopping majority of the student body has found itself surprised, angry, and confused that their most ruthlessly deployed revision tactic has failed them in their … Read More

Fresher spends loan on Depop in attempt to look ‘different’: ends up looking like everyone else

1 year ago / 0 comments

A student at Leeds University has reportedly spent all of her student loan on the clothing app ‘Depop’, in a bid to look ‘unique’ and ‘different’. She has since expressed regret at the fact that many of her peers appear to have the same ‘edgy garms’. “I just don’t know … Read More

White male activist group demand safe spaces

1 year ago / 0 comments

Reports of white men wanting safe spaces are on the rise. In the last year studies suggest that 73% of white, heterosexual cis-gender men take offense at being called privileged and demand safe spaces to discuss their ill-treatment. Terry from Swindon explains, “I just feel quite left out these days. … Read More

Yorkshire to vote on Catalan style independence

1 year ago / 0 comments

Last week Leeds city council member Charles Duckworth called on the people of Yorkshire to get behind the movement to vote for an independent Yorkshire. In a city council discussion, Mr Duckworth stated that across the globe there were more examples of “fragmentation of societies from large nations into smaller, … Read More

LUU resolution to ban vaping on campus

1 year ago / 0 comments

A resolution has been put forward to ban vaping on campus following numerous complaints of damage to the student populaces reputation as ‘edgy Leeds’. Despite the published health benefits of switching the smoke to the vape cultural concerns have been raised. The proponent of the bill, Xavier Gap-Yah, said “when … Read More

New Crispys to open in the Union

1 year ago / 0 comments

An anonymous source has said told the Pigeon that a new franchise of Crispys will be opening in the Union sometime late next year, 2018. The much beloved greasy takeaway on the corner of Woodhouse and Hyde Park is a favourite of intoxicated students looking to fill their burger, nug … Read More

Theroux and Attenborough to join forces for series on Trump, Putin, Kim and others

1 year ago / 0 comments

Louis Theroux and David Attenborough will be joining forces in the exhilarating new series, ‘Degeneration in one Generation’, The Pigeon is excited to announce. The much anticipated collaboration from Britain’s most cherished documenters will take viewers on a whirlwind journey, examining five of the world’s most controversial leaders: Donald Trump, … Read More

Female sex robot develops sentience, become feminist

1 year ago / 0 comments

A multimillion pound pilot sex robot experiment by the Dartmouth University may soon be halted indefinitely due to robots developing sentience and political thought. The University is at the forefront of what people stated as, the millennial’s version of the space race, beating roboenginers from across the globe and bringing … Read More