Category : Satire

Leeds Student who Refuses the Plastic Straw also Refuses to Clean up their Rubbish in Hyde Park

8 months ago / 0 comments

A student from the University of Leeds who refuses the plastic straw has admitted to not giving a shit about leaving their rubbish in Hyde Park. The student, who wishes to remain anonymous, said they didn’t realise that reducing the world’s consumption of plastic was more than just a fad, … Read More

Theroux and Attenborough to join forces for series on Trump, Putin, Kim and others

1 year ago / 0 comments

Louis Theroux and David Attenborough will be joining forces in the exhilarating new series, ‘Degeneration in one Generation’, The Pigeon is excited to announce. The much anticipated collaboration from Britain’s most cherished documenters will take viewers on a whirlwind journey, examining five of the world’s most controversial leaders: Donald Trump, … Read More

Female sex robot develops sentience, become feminist

1 year ago / 0 comments

A multimillion pound pilot sex robot experiment by the Dartmouth University may soon be halted indefinitely due to robots developing sentience and political thought. The University is at the forefront of what people stated as, the millennial’s version of the space race, beating roboenginers from across the globe and bringing … Read More

Theresa May turns to actual plants for Brexit guidance

1 year ago / 0 comments

The Prime Minister today has announced that she has hired a new set of advisers for Brexit negotiations, plants. Actual plants. With leaves. Seemingly another step in the plan to move away from ‘the experts’ Mrs. May has reached out to the plant world to give nuanced feedback on her … Read More

Exclusive: Laidlaw Library to focus on new technology ‘books’

1 year ago / 0 comments

Laidlaw’s Head Librarian Hermione Wormwood today announced a brand-new initiative to pivot towards ‘books’ as the centre of the institution. Books are, according to Wormwood, a form of information in a printed context, that cannot be easily edited and do not require any charging apparatus. Laidlaw plans to install large … Read More

Government approves parents location chipping freshers

1 year ago / 0 comments

The “freshers charter” bill was today given royal assent after becoming law last week. The bill will give parents and guardians the legal right to forcibly “chip” their university inbound sons and daughters to track their location. The bill comes after a petition that collected over 200,000 signatures prompted debate … Read More

Southern freshers given mandatory course on preventing cultural approporation of the North

1 year ago / 0 comments

As fresh faced Southerners descend onto to Leeds filling their faces with Crispys, stare up at the Parkinson Building and soak in Northern culture, as well as the booze, they’ll have to attend a new mandatory course. For the first time since the university’s founding nearly two centuries ago undergrad … Read More

London fresher commutes from North Korea

1 year ago / 0 comments

You might think that the half an hour walk to the lecture hall or a twenty minute bus ride in is pretty bad, but it could be worse. You could be living in North Korea. That’s exactly what  an incoming University of London student is doing this year. The fresher … Read More