Tag : satire

Leeds Student who Refuses the Plastic Straw also Refuses to Clean up their Rubbish in Hyde Park

7 months ago / 0 comments

A student from the University of Leeds who refuses the plastic straw has admitted to not giving a shit about leaving their rubbish in Hyde Park. The student, who wishes to remain anonymous, said they didn’t realise that reducing the world’s consumption of plastic was more than just a fad, … Read More

Student who never turns up anyway is suing university over strike hours

8 months ago / 0 comments

Final year business student Katie Hopkins wants to sue the University of Leeds over the contact hours affected by the on-going strike. Katie, who’s average attendance over her three-year course is roughly 18%, is appalled that the strikes mean several of her classes over a four-week period will be cancelled. … Read More

University to offer therapy porcupines to students

9 months ago / 0 comments

Leeds University is to offer therapy porcupines for students, in an apparent wellbeing exercise, designed to ease student’s stress. Prickly creatures not known for their affection, University administrators have arranged for the hedgehog-type creatures to be brought to campus next week. Easily accessible in the locked toilet of the Laidlaw … Read More

Shock as students realise posting photos of revision on social media has no effect on overall exam grade

9 months ago / 0 comments

As exam season ends and results are released, Leeds students are finding themselves shocked and upset as their grades fall short of their expectations. A whopping majority of the student body has found itself surprised, angry, and confused that their most ruthlessly deployed revision tactic has failed them in their … Read More

Why do university papers continue to print?

11 months ago / 0 comments

Reports have been coming in from across university towns in the UK of a bizarre phenomenon. The Pigeon can exclusively report that student run newspapers are earnestly continuing to print editions, despite empirical evidence that nobody has picked up a copy out of genuine interest since at least the early … Read More

Fresher spends loan on Depop in attempt to look ‘different’: ends up looking like everyone else

12 months ago / 0 comments

A student at Leeds University has reportedly spent all of her student loan on the clothing app ‘Depop’, in a bid to look ‘unique’ and ‘different’. She has since expressed regret at the fact that many of her peers appear to have the same ‘edgy garms’. “I just don’t know … Read More

Yorkshire to vote on Catalan style independence

12 months ago / 0 comments

Last week Leeds city council member Charles Duckworth called on the people of Yorkshire to get behind the movement to vote for an independent Yorkshire. In a city council discussion, Mr Duckworth stated that across the globe there were more examples of “fragmentation of societies from large nations into smaller, … Read More

Theroux and Attenborough to join forces for series on Trump, Putin, Kim and others

1 year ago / 0 comments

Louis Theroux and David Attenborough will be joining forces in the exhilarating new series, ‘Degeneration in one Generation’, The Pigeon is excited to announce. The much anticipated collaboration from Britain’s most cherished documenters will take viewers on a whirlwind journey, examining five of the world’s most controversial leaders: Donald Trump, … Read More

Female sex robot develops sentience, become feminist

1 year ago / 0 comments

A multimillion pound pilot sex robot experiment by the Dartmouth University may soon be halted indefinitely due to robots developing sentience and political thought. The University is at the forefront of what people stated as, the millennial’s version of the space race, beating roboenginers from across the globe and bringing … Read More

Donald Trump to release self-help book “The Art of the Heal”

1 year ago / 0 comments

In a recent press release the President of the Free World Donald Trump has announced he will be publishing a “self-help” and “spiritual healing” book to give his followers an insight to his views on religion and morality. The book follows numerous calls from devoted fans to catalogued Trumps tweets … Read More