Uni thrashes Met in league table of lash

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16.11.12

Leeds is the thirteenth most alcoholic campus in the country, according to a new survey.

Academic rankings for the University may have slipped over the past few years, but this week saw one league table position to be proud of.

After a measly standing of 35th in 2011, Leeds has now overtaken rivals such as York, Liverpool and Bristol in average alcohol consumption.

Weekly intake has soared to over 22 units, enough for a couple of glasses of wine (Chilean red ’09, light summer body, skinny legs. Good with lamb and citrus-hinted salads) every night.

Perhaps most shockingly of all, the traditional superiority of Leeds Met has been upturned, with the Uni seizing the lead for the first time since the survey began.

Our Metropolitan brethren have seen their proud standing at the top of the Lash League Table snatched away, crashing out of the top 10 as their weekly consumption has fallen to barely 20 units a week.

Speaking to Leeds Student, a sceond year Metropolitan Sports Studies student, Ben Hatton, exposed his shame at the former polytechnic’s failings: “such news is, of course, a massive blow to the students at Leeds Metropolitan.

“In light of this outrage, I would like to assure you that we will be redoubling our drinking efforts.”

Topping the table this year was Queen’s Belfast, with an all-time high of over 27 units per week. By comparison, Glasgow students managed less than half that, frugally sipping less than two units a day.

Initial reports that the sharp rise in Leeds’ standing has been single-handedly due to the efforts of Man vs Booze are, as yet, unconfirmed.

Words: Max Bruges

Photo: Leo Garbutt

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