Festive Failure

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As is custom every year, just as we have finished sweeping the fake cobwebs from our front paths and prizing the mouldy pumpkins off our doorsteps, Christmas lands itself on our laps before November has a chance to get going. I’m not sure what kind of person wants to buy a Bart Simpson advent calendar on November 1st but nonetheless Christmas is here already whether you like it or not. It seems the attitude amongst the vast majority of Leeds students is that if you can’t beat the Christmas spirit, join it. I say this mainly because bobble hats are back and more popular than ever – they have the double advantage of keeping your ears warm and helping you look as edgy as possible. Maybe true, but it doesn’t detract from the fact that you look like a cross between Macaulay Culkin and Dappy from N-Dubz. Another piece of questionable yuletide knitwear that is ever-present around campus this time of year is the infamous Christmas jumper – I am partial to the odd reindeer here and there but it seems to have gotten out of hand with the sheer amount of elaborate squiggly lines and snowflakes that are crammed onto a sweater. Another common occurrence as we approach Christmas is that more people start to wear their brightly coloured, baggy skiing jackets around Uni – I understand the double purpose of rain prevention and standing out during après-ski but you do look a bit of a goon. Maybe just wear a hoody and bring an umbrella?

I say all this as if it genuinely upsets me, when really it’s just a petty annoyance. The real Christmas-based anger only starts bubbling inside me when people start clogging Twitter and Facebook with the crucial news that they ‘feel super Christmassy now the Coca-Cola advert is on the TV!’ or when someone thinks it’d be a great idea to change the track at a house party to one from Justin Bieber’s Christmas Album in some hopeful delusion that everyone will start singing along arm-in-arm – they won’t. It will ruin the party. Plus, being fairly superstitious, listening to Christmas music before December has to be bad luck.

Sadly, I have been subject to all of the above factors this year already, and December’s only just beginning! By the time Christmas day gets here I shall feel a celebratory sense of relief and, like an air stewardess who’s just reached the end of a long-haul flight, I will no longer have to wear my feigned smile whilst listening to Mariah Carey belt out ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’.

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