Behind the scenes at Ewood Park

Joe Bookbinder

Sports Editor

Since the Venky’s took over Blackburn Rovers in 2010 for a poultry £23 million life at Ewood Park has been eventful to say the least, Between the Lines attempts to make head and tail of the situation…

To outsiders the sacking of Sam Allardyce was bizarre, a proven manager the archetypal ‘Football Man’ was doing a decent job having taken Rovers to 10th in League. Some (chiefly Allardyce himself) were talking up his chances of becoming England manager, however a few weeks later he was sacked. The king of managers, Sir Alex Ferguson was moved to tears upon hearing the news stuttering, ‘It’s absolutely ridiculous’. What isn’t commonly known is that Allardyce had fallen fowl of his new employers in a big way.

As a good will gesture the Venky’s had promised all staff unlimited number of battery chickens, it seems that Allardyce had taken this too far and the Venky’s took exception. They don’t call him ‘Big Sam’ for nothing.

The chief beneficiary was a little known Steve Kean who celebrated his promotion by recording a farewell video to Big Sam, clearly a dear friend, by calling him all the names under the sun as well as taking the credit for the discovery of Phil Jones. Upon hearing this Allardyce was pictured spitting feathers.

The Venky’s put all their eggs in Kean’s basket as they continued to back him despite looming relegation. A man of many talents Kean is fluent in Portuguese (and bullshit), he also holds the title of statistically the second worst manager in Premier League history. What?! Not first I hear you cry.

Since being relieved of his duties for clucking around too much, Kean has been living life to the full. When he’s not being sued for defamation of character by Big Sam or being arrested for drink driving, Kean is an avid campaigner for organic farming. When LS Sport tried to contact him he neither confirmed nor denied that this was in direct retaliation against Venky’s limited. Kean will be treading on eggshells for some time if he ever wants to regain his credibility.

The successful managerial appointments continued with HENning Berg who lasted all of 60 days leading people to question who is appointing these managers.

Troubled times at Ewood park
Troubled times at Ewood park

Poached from Blackpool, it is no wonder that Michael Appleton scrambled to cross the road to take the hot seat, having enjoyed a month’s holiday on the West Coast he continued on his quest to manage as many of the 92 professional teams in a year as possible. Reports that he is considering the vacancy at Vatican City have proved to be mere speculation. However this brief episode ends, everyone who goes near Ewood Park inevitably leaves with egg on their face, when will the madness end?! The job is certainly a hard-boiled one, chickens need not apply.

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