BTL: The Luis S**rez Saga

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Suarez has accepted his 10 match ban, reluctantly
Suarez has accepted his 10 match ban, reluctantly

Joe Bookbinder

In other news Luis S**rez proved the haters right once again as he re-enacted a scene from Jaws.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with that, we’ve all been caught replaying scenes from our favourite films. Between The Lines is not even a little bit ashamed to have perfected the opening number from the Little Mermaid. However several crucial factors need to be taken into consideration.

However this was not the first time S**rez has felt peckish mid-game. Whilst ‘Arry Redknapp may have shunned nutritional food, sports science and legal ways of avoiding tax, S**rez has taken this to a whole new level.

It’s quite understandable really, why would you eat a banana when there was prime Serbian steak readily available? Minus the small matter of the steak being 100 per cent human (and more importantly NON-EU meat!) what’s the big deal?

Of all parts of the body who would have thought an elbow was the tastiest? Having never tried this delicacy we’ll leave it to the Uruguayan expert.

The real question is, should we be surprised? A whole year has passed since S**rez was last in the doghouse. There again he showed as much remorse as League titles he’s won at Anfield. A 10 game ban is lenient considering most other animals are put down after biting a member of the public.

Nevertheless, the ban should give him more than enough time to chew the cud. Who knew a team fighting for mid-table obscurity would grab the headlines in arguably the most exciting week of Champions League football ever.

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