Music | Outlooks – Obituary: The music industry

Throughout history and to the present day, the human race has enjoyed the wide ranging and now evermore diverse music that artists and bands have produced and within this, the music industry has been blessed and cursed by many wacky and wonderful characters contributing to the mixing pot of ideas and creations. The successes have been countless and despite their best attempts, a minority  of artists like Miley Cyrus, The Crazy Frog and countless others have tried and failed to decimate this industry that we love so much. It has survived and thrived in the face of such difficulty this far but it is now, in the January of the fourteenth year of the third millennia that four true and worthy champions of crap have nailed that final nail in the coffin. Ludacris, Jeremih, Wiz Khalifa and Cashmere Cat will go down in history as the fantastically foul four who put their names to the song that is responsible for said fall of the long standing pillar of our culture that is the music industry. It is at this point, we duly and sadly pay our respects and send our condolences to those closely involved.

Let us bury our fallen compadre before any further damage is done and let us not tarnish what has become such a fine historical collection of music with yet more songs where the main source of inspiration is a track about a pink-loving plastic doll named Barbie. Yes, that’s right, the Cashmere Cat produced Ludacris track ‘Party Girls’ has unapologetically ripped off the main hook from the classically awful teen-girl pop trash banger that is ‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua and what more can, or need, be said? We’re clearly at a point in history where all we have left to flip, interpolate and re-create is a song that has about as much emotional value and quality as Ken has charisma.

All that said, before we actually draw the curtain and call it a day, let this incident remind us that the remainder of the music industry, or the quality part of it at least, isn’t totally devoid of ideas. It wouldn’t be ludicrous (sorry) to suggest that this is probably the most interesting and challenging period of musical history for a very long time. There is such a wide range of diverse music being put out by so many talented individuals and bands that we should embrace their talent and appreciate how lucky we are to be living through such a period of high quality. I’m all for experimentation, the pushing of boundaries and those artists who consistently challenge our thinking with new and innovative music-making but please, please, no more Aqua-infused Rap.

Jamie Taylor

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