The art of sexting

In an age when our digital presence is just about as important as our physicality, and smartphones are basically as important as our vital organs, communication has reached new heights. Curiously enough, it’s not verbal communication that’s most popular in the digital age but in fact the use of texting.

It can be argued that we’re losing touch with reality and forgetting how to be sociable. Nevertheless, in some ways smartphones and messenger apps can be seen as a blessing.

It’s undeniable that they have facilitated friendships and relationships. Nowadays, we can keep in touch with childhood friends who live in different cities and even lovers who live in other countries. I am forever grateful to Skype and WhatsApp for making my long distance relationship with my boyfriend work. Forget snail-mail. The secret to a happy long distance relationship is sexting, I mean texting.

When I started my long distance relationship with my boyfriend, I was a bit apprehensive but optimistic. I knew the distance would be a challenge but I also knew that we were both committed to making ‘us’ work. Add technology into the mix and I figured the odds were in our favour. What I didn’t realise was the imaginative ways in which I’d be keeping in touch.

Go ahead, call me naïve. It’s true. Until I started my long distance relationship, I had never sexted before. When I realised that kind of written exchange was probably going to happen at some point during the weeks I spent apart from my boyfriend, I entered a state of dread, obviously anticipating my painfully awkward performance. I had to find a way to avoid saying the wrong thing in the wrong way, so I shamelessly turned to my unfailing friend, Google.

If you’re reading this, don’t be like me. Don’t take notes of what to say, they’ll be useless in the moment anyway. During my “first time” I was so busy overthinking what to write – typing and backspacing, typing and backspacing – that it became a near monologue on my boyfriend’s part. I was silent with the occasional interjection of encouragement.

I was gutted thinking that I had performed terribly. However, when I finally worked up the courage to talk to my boyfriend about the conversation, I discovered he actually enjoyed it! Turns out he prefers to take the lead anyway. That revelation put me at ease and ever since then I’ve stopped taking myself too seriously. I’ve even become quite the prolific writer myself.

So, what should you take away from this very personal, but hopefully amusing article? You don’t need to be a sexting guru to keep romance alive in a long distance relationship. I’m certainly not. In fact, some couples prefer not to sext at all. However, if you do venture down that path, don’t be nervous. Remember that you can say next to nothing and still get away with it.

Mariana Avelino

(Photo credit:

Leave a Reply