What I learned from my first break-up

Your social media image is the least important thing in the world: I adored posting photos of me and my boyfriend on Instagram, Facebook, and just about anywhere else it was possible to do so. I liked showing the world how happy we were. Now, I see couples doing the same and it cuts me inside, knowing I can’t post those photos anymore. But who the hell cares about photos I share? My followers don’t get to share the memories behind the photo, and they would never understand the true feelings in our relationship, and why should they? Some things are best kept private.

Your first heartbreak is your worst: I say this, but as it says in the title, this is my first heartbreak. What I mean is, I’m praying your first heartbreak is the worst (people have been telling me it is!), because there is no way in hell I could go through this again.

Communication is the most important thing in the world: Communication with my ex is now even more special and important than ever, as I need to know he’s ok. Communication with my friends is vital. It was hard talking to them about it at first because it was like admitting it was true. But unless I tell them I’m not okay, they won’t know.

Maybe losing weight isn’t all it cracked up to be: I admit it, one of my first thoughts after the immediate break up was, ‘Oh well maybe I’ll lose weight as I feel too sick to eat!’ I did. For five days I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, and if you know me, you’ll know just how special breakfast is to me. Chocolate is a huge part of my life, but I couldn’t even get that past my lips. The feeling that I was going to throw up almost 24/7 was absolute hell. I became weak and even more tired than usual. I’m thankful I managed to pull myself out of that stage before I got worse.

Family is number one, always: Of course, I always knew this, but this experience has reaffirmed it. My mum has been my rock and my only constant. My little brothers gave me a cuddle in bed and made me laugh. My dad took me on a hike to get the fresh air I needed. Family are there when everything fails, and I’ll never let anything or anyone come before them again.

You cannot drink your troubles away: Believe me I’ve tried. Each drop makes each problem worse. Each drop makes your head heavier, your heart more broken. You start to remember every little thing that has happened, things that you can block out when you’re sober.

Nothing lasts forever: I’m not saying I’d planned our future… apart from the names of our three children (I kid, I kid). But you never think something so precious and perfect is going to end.

I am a hell of a lot stronger than I thought I was: In the past, considering a breakup was like looking into a black hole of nothingness. Now? I see myself growing stronger, keeping busy with writing and the gym, and generally growing as an independent person. I am no longer defined by some guy.

It’s okay not to be okay: If I’m honest with myself, I don’t think I’ve allowed myself enough time to cry yet. I’ve dragged myself out to Wetherspoons and even been clothes shopping. But come on, it’s perfectly natural that all you want to do is lie in bed with ice cream! The distractions are starting to work better as time passes – it’s only been a week! I’m not going to judge myself for not getting out of bed all day or for going to uni in joggers and a pyjama top.


(Photo courtesy of http://www.tpevent.com/after-break-up-quotes-about-moving-on)

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