ONLINE EXCLUSIVE: Let’s Play Fantasy Parliament

John Bercow stunned British politics on Monday when he stood before Parliament and informed them that, in his role of speaker, he would oppose any attempt to allow President Trump to address a joint session of Parliament. It was an unprecedented move that throws another spanner in the Conservatives’ attempts to soothe over ties with the US. If it were any other MP, I’d assume it was an attempt to position himself for a crack at the Prime Minister’s office. This is perhaps too pleasant a thought at present, but sod it, let’s play: Fantasy Parliament!

Bercow has several options for a leadership spill, he doesn’t have to go the direct route. But, as a former member of the Conservative Party, maybe he has a chance of getting to 10 Downing Street without the need for a general election. Despite reports that Bercow is mistrusted by many of his former colleagues, perhaps he has spent the last two decades quietly amassing the numbers for an audacious leadership bid. Last minute endorsements from Boris Johnson, and Jacob Rees-Mogg outflank all other opponents, Bercow shoots, he scores!

Another path, sees him carry the red flag. Supposedly, Bercow has toyed with the idea of defecting before, could now be his time? In a quick move to the Labour Party, he could try and topple Corbyn almost immediately, which would be no small feat. With a plethora of student socialist and communist groups at his back, Corbyn has an unshakable hold on the party. His young middle class followers view him as a sort of liberator elderly uncle, who will free them from the oppressive shackles of their bourgeoisie parents, who wouldn’t buy them a car. But Bercow surprises again! He reveals his secret collection of limited edition Lenin badges, buying off key leaders with vintage accessories. Bercow assumes leadership, and leads the glorious revolution to electoral victory.

Lastly, there is the path of least resistance. You know what I mean. It would be so easy, all he would have to do is relinquish the Speakership, walk down to the benches, and sit on the Iron Farron. I mean Throne. Bercow could smite Farrow down and take the Liberal Democrats without a second thought. From there, it would be a simple matter of rallying the Lib Dem’s nine MP’s, forcing a snap general election, and gaining another 320 MPs.

All hail, Prime Minister John Bercow.

Edmund Goldrick

(Image courtesy of BBC News)

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