Southern freshers given mandatory course on preventing cultural approporation of the North

As fresh faced Southerners descend onto to Leeds filling their faces with Crispys, stare up at the Parkinson Building and soak in Northern culture, as well as the booze, they’ll have to attend a new mandatory course. For the first time since the university’s founding nearly two centuries ago undergrad students from the South will be forced to check their privilege. This follows demands from the Northern Society at the University to ensure the “cultural integrity of our intuition isn’t lost to those bloody Londoners”.


The course, will consist of four one hour lectures on cuisine, clothing, music and lexicon. In depth explanation on chips and gravy, flat caps, The Stone Roses and greetings such as “ay op mate” will be taught. The myths of Northern Culture will be debunked with unbeknownst Southern’s being taught that Oasis did in fact win Brit Pop, not Blur, and that it’s not ok to have gravy with every single meal just because you’ve gone four hours up the country.


The National Union of Northern Students backed the move calling it a “step forward for the preservation of Northern Culture following that witch Thatcher”. The president of the NUNS, Fred McCoal, praised the University saying that he would work with them to implement the policies and course into other Northern universities such as Sheffield and Manchester. Leeds Beckett and Trinity have too commented on the new freshers week module saying that they will bring it in for the next academic year.


The Conservatives Student Association have attacked the course calling it “ridiculous and petty” continuing to comment that “after everything we’ve done for you chaps especially with HS2 you could atleast show us some bloody respect, yah.”.


A recent survey by the NUNS found that “9/10 Northern students have experienced cultural appropriation in their life” and that “the other one in ten are probably Tories”. The same survey reported that not one Southern fresher last year at Leeds or Manchester had not imitated a Northern accent at least once.


A Northern student at the university, who wishes to remain anonymous, said that the move was a “good step, but it’s not like I’m going to be mates with any of those poshos anyway.”

Christopher Tobin