8 things I know now.
1. Stereotyping isn’t cute my boys, babes and non-binary buddies. I don’t want to be your gay best friend or your lesbian side kick. I want to be your equal, your friend, the kind of person you plan a crime with rather than have them for a certain function that fits your, unfortunately, ingrained homophobic manifestations. Treat us like equals, not like accessories.
2. Ugly bitches get stitches. Not literally of course, but a positive, inclusive attitude, especially towards friends, family and f*** buddies who might be coming to terms with themselves in their sexuality, and identity. Be encouraging, be kind and be supportive.
3. Condoms. Rubber Johnnies. Some say they’re not cool, some say they make sex less fun. Personally, I’d rather use a love glove than get the clap. And if condoms really aren’t the way for you, practice safe sex, speak to your GP, it’s good practice and should be normal. Get tested, encourage your friends and new partners to get tested. Safe sex is cool and to quote Coach Carr from Mean Girls, “you will get pregnant and you will die!” Well, not really, but you get the gist.
4. Keeping up appearances and being in a relationship. Sometimes it’s hard for bisexuals to be recognised as having a valid sexuality whilst being in a relationship with some one of the opposite sex. Cardinal rule number one: being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t identify as being your gender or sex does not eradicate your sexuality or your identity within that. You are yourself regardless of who you share a bed with.
5. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Committing to a long-term queer relationship and getting acceptance from family. Have the conversation, especially with those who may not quite understand the gender and sexuality spectrum. Be as patient as you can, but put yourself first, this is your life and your happiness is worth more than someone else’s opinion.
6. Individual journeys; all paths are valid and, just because someone has had an easier or harder time than you in coming to terms with themselves and getting acceptance (if they want it) from others, it does not mean that your experience is in anyway less valid or important. Your story is important and so are you.
7. Consent is between adults. That is an unquestionable truth. Consent is between adult humans, sober, awake and with-out pressure. Anything less is assault. Unfortunately, in every vector of society, including the LGBTQ+ community, there are those who don’t understand this. Consent is between sober, awake, unpressured adults, regardless of time, location or attire. Bottom Line.
8. Keep Safe. Here are some numbers of help lines and advice pages for those in the LGBTQ+ community that are in crisis, feeling alone or just need someone to talk to:
0345 330 3030 – A charity giving advice, information and support to those in the
0300 030 0630 – Switchboard for the LGBTQ+ community with advisors who can recommend you to specialists and other treatments if needs be.
01926 402 498 – A safeline for victims of assault, main number with specialist areas for males/females/non binary and trans members.
Also try and find my fun acrostic poem!