Does a relationship constitute the remedying of all plausible flaws? Will an illness be cured by love? Does holding hands make me a stronger person?
I like being single and I like my life without a relationship, I don’t feel I need a partner to become whole. Of course, on occasion I have pined for the love that so many people seem to be a part of, and it can feel like I am being left behind, watching my friends enter a new part of life I don’t relate to, but I am still here for them every step of the way, just as I always have been and always will be.
If I get to 80 without having been in a relationship, have I lived my life as only half a person?
When I was younger, I imagined myself being married at 16, deeply in love, finding ‘the one’ just as the Disney princesses did (obviously now I realise those stories are problematic as hell and frankly gross). I didn’t ever imagine being 21 and not having a partner, someone to rely on, but as with many other unexplained aspects of adulthood, I don’t mind. I like being alone, I personally am happy being single, I have become stronger through the years and I believe that when I eventually meet someone, I will be able to find a balance between what I have known and learnt and the new patterns relationships bring.
Being single in your twenties often invites a lot of unwarranted questions, comments and assumptions, a lot of ‘aren’t you lonely?’, a lot of sympathetic, patronising looks. I am alone. I am not lonely. Can I not enjoy my life without needing someone else to make me whole? If I get to 80 without having been in a relationship, have I lived my life as only half a person?
There is a general assumption about single women, we are either desperate and sad with 12 cats and a mild to moderate drinking problem or we are sexually liberated, “too confident” and wildly outspoken. A Jones of two descriptions, a Bridget Jones or a Samantha. Inherently, these two characters are based around their lack of relationships, through either bad luck and bad men in the pre- Darcy Bridget, or a string of sensational lovers and lack of emotional connections for Samantha. Basically, the fact they are not in relationships is their character. Where are the single women of whom are not orientated around their lack of relationship in one way or another?
I like being single, I am liberated, strong and can pursue an entirely selfish path to self-improvement at my own pace. I do not need, nor want pity for my being alone. I am happy being single. I am content in my solitude and I love the extra bed space it gives me to boot. I look forward to love but I am not looking for it just yet.