You may have heard the saying that “MEN ARE TRASH”. I’m not here to tell you that ALL men are trash. But I can say for certain that Tinder is full of the trashiest trash bags you’ll ever have the pleasure of coming across. To help you see the trashy signs, here is a comprehensive list of the dirt you will most definitely encounter on your tinder travels.
The ‘Nice’ Guy
This guy will call you “angel face” but if you ignore him for a day, expect to be called a massive bitch who’s going to die alone. This self-proclaimed ‘nice’ guy and his fragile ego will then proceed to message you whenever he’s drunk to tell you that he’s so sorry for what he said; he’s actually a REALLY nice guy, trustttt!!!
Level of trash: 100/10
The Normal Guy???
You’ll go on a few dates, and everything seems to be going well. He’ll be super keen, and then out of the blue, you’ll experience a severe case of ghosting. You’ll be left wondering whether you had sex with him too soon?? The answer to this question is a big fat NO!!! If he’s lost interest just because you’ve had sex with him, then he wasn’t worth your time anyway!
Level of trash: 9.5/10 (because he pretends to have common decency, but in actuality, he’s too afraid to be honest with you)
The Flakiest Flake
This boy seems funny and nice at first; you get on great. He suggests you go for a couple of drinks and you’re down. But a few hours before he messages you making up an excuse. You wonder if he’s just not that into you or if one of he’s more interested in his other tinder matches. But then late at night, you’ll receive a message saying: “yo b wys tonight.” Suddenly it all becomes clear; he was only ever after a shag. Going on a date with you was too much effort, he’d rather booty call you at 2 am.
Level of trash: 8.5/10
The one that NEEDS a shag and isn’t afraid to say it
This guy’s profile is littered with shameless topless mirror selfies, and his bio will be one of the following:
- “Sit on my face.”
- “Here for a good time, not a long time.”
- “Send nuuuudes.”
This guy could be the biggest slag on campus, or he could be the biggest virgin. I would not recommend trying to find out…
Level of trash: 8/10 (higher if he sends you unsolicited dick pics. But to be fair, you could’ve seen it coming from his trashy profile)
The one with the CHEESIEST chat up lines
This boy has very little personality; he goes on google to find the cringiest chat up lines, in the hope that maybe 1/50 of the girls he sends it to will reply. Examples of these include:
- “Let’s cut the bullshit; I’d walk on Lego for you.”
- “Let’s get married, have three kids and a dog, are you down?”
- “How do you pronounce your name? Every time I try, wife or bae comes out!!!”
He’s cringe, but at least he’s made more of an effort than just saying “Hi”.
Level of trash: 2/10
Watch out ladies, Tinder is a scary hunting ground where trashy men go to find their prey. If your tinder match fits into one of these categories, then don’t fall into his trashy trap, it’s highly advisable that you kick him to the curb. Know your self-worth!