Need To Know Dating Lingo

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Move over ghosting, cuffing and catfishing. New dating terminology is here, and you might want to familiarise yourself with it. 

In today’s savage dating environment, where the fate of a relationship is decided by which direction you swipe. Could this be damaging to our self-esteem?

The dating game has completely changed with the invention of dating apps. Tinder forces you to judge a person in a matter of seconds, based purely on their looks and two-line bio. It can easily be seen why this would be damaging to someone’s self-esteem and may cause them to question their appearance. Insecurities are on the mind of most. Millennials have the added pressure on social media sites, where image is the sole focus, and the constant creation of new words to describe different ways of essentially, rejection. 

Once matched with a partner, and a cringe chat-up line is sent, an anxiety-ridden date is the next step. After the date, your fate is decided, and you nervously await a further message or response. The word ‘ghosting’ is so last year, and now there is even more dating vocab to learn.

Ghosting: We’ll begin with the basics. Ghoster or ghostee, we’ve all been there. It’s when the person you are supposed to be ‘speaking to’ suddenly, with absolutely no explanation, stops conversation – brutal. Millennials are not good at expressing our feelings, but can’t we just be honest with each other?

Soft-ghosting: If the person you are speaking to has a little more decency than just point-blank leaving you on ‘read’, then they may use the soft-ghosting tactic. An effortless technique to adopt on Instagram, where someone can just like your last message, but not actually reply. 

Orbiting: No, this isn’t a phrase to do with astrology anymore, it’s when somebody has already ghosted you – but they won’t stop liking your Instagram photos or replying to your Snapchat stories. Orbiting inevitably leads to confusion and the question of; do they like me or not?

Stashing: This one is pretty awkward. If they rarely like to go out with you in public, or you haven’t met the family – you’re probably in the midst of being ‘stashed’. To save your future-self from tears, you should probably think about asking them why. 

Zombie-ing: Has the person you were speaking to at school in Year 10 just popped up after seeing your Instagram? This is known as zombie-ing. The act of someone reappearing back in your DM’s after not speaking to them for a while. This could go one of two ways; really well (sometimes it’s nice to connect with old friends) or really badly. 

Benching: The winter nights are drawing in and the offer of a movie night tempts you, this is when you bring in the non-exclusive ‘benched’ partner. Comes in handy for those otherwise lonely Netflix nights. 

Does this hostile and ruthless dating environment make us numb to feelings and empathy, and has it created a world in which we are self-obsessed? Contrary to popular opinion, feelings are not the enemy and millennials need to encourage better communication.   

Next time you’re on the search for Mr/Mrs Right, maybe you’ll think twice before swiping left, and acknowledge that there is more to a person than the image you see. ‘Beauty is only skin deep.’

Gemma Lavers