A multimillion pound pilot sex robot experiment by the Dartmouth University may soon be halted indefinitely due to robots developing sentience and political thought. The University is at the forefront of what people stated as, […]
Donald Trump to release self-help book “The Art of the Heal”
In a recent press release the President of the Free World Donald Trump has announced he will be publishing a “self-help” and “spiritual healing” book to give his followers an insight to his views on […]
Theresa May turns to actual plants for Brexit guidance
The Prime Minister today has announced that she has hired a new set of advisers for Brexit negotiations, plants. Actual plants. With leaves. Seemingly another step in the plan to move away from ‘the experts’ […]
100-tonne ‘Glitterberg’ blocks Leeds sewage system
A huddled mass weighing one hundred tonnes – roughly the weight of a commercial aeroplane – is blocking part of Leeds’ underground sewage network. The Glitterberg is a congealed lump of glitter and Vaseline and […]
Exclusive: Laidlaw Library to focus on new technology ‘books’
Laidlaw’s Head Librarian Hermione Wormwood today announced a brand-new initiative to pivot towards ‘books’ as the centre of the institution. Books are, according to Wormwood, a form of information in a printed context, that cannot […]
Government approves parents location chipping freshers
The “freshers charter” bill was today given royal assent after becoming law last week. The bill will give parents and guardians the legal right to forcibly “chip” their university inbound sons and daughters to track […]
Southern freshers given mandatory course on preventing cultural approporation of the North
As fresh faced Southerners descend onto to Leeds filling their faces with Crispys, stare up at the Parkinson Building and soak in Northern culture, as well as the booze, they’ll have to attend a new […]
Dominos Stand Replaces Food Banks as Leeds’ Largest Provider of Free Food
The Dominos pizza stand at the front of the union is now officially the largest distributor of free food in Leeds, The Pigeon can reveal. The stall gave away over 1 million free slices of […]
London fresher commutes from North Korea
You might think that the half an hour walk to the lecture hall or a twenty minute bus ride in is pretty bad, but it could be worse. You could be living in North Korea. […]
The end of satire? It’s no laughing matter!
Satire has long been our only salvation from the meaningless jargon and constant u-turns of electoral politics. It’s easy to criticise politicians’ often unfathomable actions but it’s even easier to laugh at David Cameron drawn […]
Why high school P.E. was the worst
Whether you loved them or loathed them, there was no escaping school P.E. lessons. Here Charlie relives some some of her worst memories… Thankfully I escaped the joys of freezing school exercise long ago, starting […]
The Australian Invasion
With new exchange students arriving in Leeds for the semester, Edmund gives us a satrical insight into what life would be like in Britain if we were taken over by Australians… Another semester, another wave […]