Childhood Friendships: Lessons from Stand by Me 

Najla Omar reflects on the lessons about friendship and childhood in Reiner’s Stand by Me.

I must admit; I am not a movie person.  

It’s not that I have a poor attention span or that I don’t know how to appreciate art, it’s just that movies have become a game to me. By the time I’ve reclined the seat at my local cinema, or I’ve turned the movie on my laptop, I’ve probably tried to guess what is going to happen. I then spend the next two or three hours waiting to see if I’m right or wrong. I am overcompetitive with myself and it has ruined my ability to fully immerse myself in the cinema experience. 

Still, if forced, I will go and watch a movie. Over the summer, I visited my cousin who had moved to London, and she suggested that we watch one of her favourite films at the British Film Institute, Reiner’s Stand by Me (1986). The tickets were less than £5, and she really wanted to see it on the big screen, so I said yes, and I watched the movie completely blind.  

And I left in tears.  

The film is adapted from a short novel, written by Stephen King. It follows four young boys, walking along railway tracks in Oregon, looking for the body of a missing boy. The track is long and seemingly never ending as they seek to be the first to find the body. It’s set in 1959 and has that perfect ‘American dream’ atmosphere to it as we see the futures of each boy carved out. One is obviously college bound; the others are likely to head into the blue-collar future. As they walk along the tracks, it is clear to the audience that they’re all on different journeys. And when the movie ends, so does their childhood and their innocence.  

“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” 

I spent the rest of my summer thinking about that final quote. 

I thought about my friends from secondary school. Our friendships were so pure and full of dreams and aspirations. We wanted to be doctors, teachers, researchers, dentists and CEOs. We wanted to be successful and proud of ourselves. I thought about the last day we spent together, hanging out in the park and having a good time. Letting go of the silly grudges we held, laughing about how fast time went and how dangerously close we were to being adults. 

When I left secondary school, I had a great group of friends by my side. I only speak to three of them now, and only one I speak to consistently. Social media means that I can stalk and catch myself up without actually reaching out. I can swipe through TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram and fulfil myself and settle the urge that I should reach out. 

From my side of the screen, I am proud of them for their achievements. Some of them are in medical school, some are achieving dreams they didn’t even know they had, someone even got married. I am excited that dreams we dreamed are coming true. I am happy that we grew up together. 

But watching Stand by Me made me feel defeated. It forced me to come terms with the fact I will never get that back again. Friendships that were so pure and weren’t plagued by the realities of being an adult. The innocence of running around without a care in the world. Being free from the real world. I would do anything to get that back.  

Sometimes, when I think of my old friends, I feel defeated. I am grateful for the experiences these friendships gave me, so it really should be time for me to move on. My old friends have grown up and created new personalities for themselves. The people I once knew, only exist in my memory now. 

But sometimes when I look back, I think, how lucky am I that I experienced so much joy, happiness and kindness that I dream of going back? 

Well, at least I have the memories. 

Words by Najla Omar