Christmas Blues: When Loneliness Hinders Festivity, What Can You Do?

You are walking through your town centre and it is pitch black outside. As you look up, you notice the warm Christmas lights stringing from one side of the high street to another. Right ahead of you lies the central Christmas tree, bright against the inky black sky. For most students, this beacon of festivity incites a squeamish excitement for December’s merry agenda. Yet, for others, it pokes and prods the emotional baggage they have been trying to ignore. If you find yourself or know somebody in the latter category, this is an exceptionally difficult season that requires a bit of extra support.

First and foremost, there is absolutely no shame in seeking out support when you are struggling with isolation and sadness. In fact, it’s the healthiest, most proactive thing you can do! Whether that involves seeking professional help or speaking to close friends, it can really alleviate the Christmas loneliness when you stop internalising the burden solely by yourself. A fear of reaching out can be truly consuming, but the reality is that nobody wants you to feel isolated and people are often ready to listen with an open ear.

Reasonably, a major factor behind this reticence to reach out is the expectation of not being understood. When your friends’ personal situations seem completely different to your own, the likelihood of them comprehending yours seems slim. However, true friends will often ask the right questions to gain a better grasp of your circumstances because they want to understand. Equally, if you then decide you’re not ready or comfortable discussing certain topics, it’s perfectly fine to set that boundary. It’s incredibly important that you take this sort of conversation at your own pace.

You can never predict the outcome of a conversation: perhaps reaching out to friends can lead to an invitation or a kind gesture. However, if this is not the case, you still have options to overcome Christmas loneliness: 

Keep the elderly company

Charities like Reengage are actively looking for people to spend time with elderly people who are lonely. Not only would you be helping yourself, but you would also be providing crucial contact for a vulnerable, forgotten part of the population who need regular socialisation. Two lonely individuals make a pair!

Christmas markets

Attending your local Christmas market is a great way to surround yourself in a festive crowd: you never know who you could meet! Why not mingle with your community with a nice hot toddy in your hands? Interacting with stallholders about their unique merchandise provides a fun conversation point and breaks up their waiting around when foot traffic is slow.

Volunteering and charity work

Charities are searching for people to help with Christmas services, whether that is delivering Christmas dinners or helping out at a foodbank. This is a wonderful option if you’re looking to make a difference to somebody else’s Christmas and be part of a wider project. Distracting yourself by keeping busy helps the day fly by: before you know it, it’s over!

Hobbies

If you’re looking for a more cosy distraction from Christmas, take up a new hobby or continue with an old one. If you would like to engage your creativity, buy a craft kit or a paint by numbers to give yourself something to focus on. If you like gaming, pick a game and see how much you can complete over the festive period. Whatever your vice, doing something helps you not to think about something else.

If you’re still not feeling too optimistic about the festive season, that is perfectly okay. Check out what Mind and The Marmalade Trust have to offer if you’re interested in exploring other options or trying to figure out what is right for you. Most importantly, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to spend it the ‘right’ way: often, there isn’t one! Do what is best for you, your situation and your needs.

Words by Raechel Duddle