Surely Not in Public! : PDA and its Polarising Place in the Public Space
Raechel Duddle discusses public display of affection (PDA) and her take on whether every couple is able to do it equally in the first place.
Image credit: Wikimedia Commons / Crew
Okay, it’s official: you have writer’s block. After staring at your laptop screen for two hours, hoping your essay will write itself, you decide to take a break and go for a walk in the park. During this walk, you see couple after couple kissing and holding hands. Eventually, you ask yourself, “How much PDA is too much PDA?”
A public display of affection (PDA) is an act of intimacy between a couple that takes place in view of others. These acts can occur both physically and online, with social media acting as an extension of the public sphere. Kissing, holding hands, hugging, and using pet names are just some of the ways PDA shows up in our everyday lives. However, there is most definitely a spectrum when it comes to PDA. To get to the crux of the matter, some acts are way more overt than others and therein lies the controversy…
Keeping it PG
While there’s no pleasing everybody, it’s fair to say that some acts of PDA are much more tasteful than others. Most people won’t bat an eyelid at a quick peck or handholding, but, understandably, many draw the line at someone’s hand in their partner’s back pocket. It’s not so much that everyone around is a prude, but some things are best saved for the privacy of one’s home. Plus, excessive groping and constantly steering your significant other by the arm seems possessive and territorial. Your partner is your equal, not a trophy shown off to boost your ego!
Location, location, location
Be aware of your surroundings: French kissing where children are present or at your partner’s work isn’t the most appropriate. Equally, tonsil tennis at a restaurant isn’t exactly ideal – people want to eat and keep their food down. That’s not to say there’s never a right place, though. If you’re parting ways at the train station, or, as long as it’s consensual, out clubbing, PDA is usually well tolerated.
The ‘P’ in PDA stands for ‘privilege’
Let’s face it, PDA is political. It’s a tale as old as time, but still today some couples are more authorised to engage in PDA than others. For LGBTQIA+ couples, PDA can lead to acts of violence and abuse, therefore requiring a level of vigilance not required by cisgender, heterosexual couples. If society is going to be selective about who can express affection, no one should be able to engage in PDA until everyone is able to engage in PDA.
Concluding the contention
All in all, it’s safe to say that PDA is a divisive subject. A large part of the polemic is rooted in envy or sadness; for those just out of a relationship or sick of being single, it just rubs salt into the wound. But, if you’re happy and living in the moment, then there’s really nothing wrong with showing your significant other how you feel with a simple gesture. Remember to communicate how each person feels about PDA to check that, as a couple, you’re on the same page. Oh, and don’t forget to save the lusty stuff for later!
Words by Raechel Duddle