Must Men Watch More Romcoms?
Nancy McCormack writes about the influence of romcoms and whether young men should watch them in the new climate of described hypermasculinity
Image Credit: Flickr
The notion that romantic comedies are “girly” and perhaps unrealistic is a widespread misconception in today’s society.
Targeted and promoted towards women, romcoms are much more politically relevant than one would expect. As a member of the target audience, my ideal night is certainly watching The Notebook with my girls. Although to some men this may seem to be a waste of time, I really believe that society could learn a few things from them. Therefore, it is important to understand why, at its core, so many young women resonate with romcoms. By understanding it, we as a society can remove the stigma of male embarrassment that surrounds them.
I truly believe that romcoms are essential to today’s political climate. With the rise of far-right politics, male attitudes towards women are becoming frankly disturbing and disrespectful. A romcom’s depiction of men offers a new light onto masculinity, one that counteracts society’s stereotype of men. In these films, the male leads become evolved, respectful princes who are devoted to the women they love. Sadly, this notion of being enamoured has been labeled as ‘submissive’ rather than what it is: courageous.
Attitudes towards dating – especially in my generation – have been dominated by a resurgence of toxic masculinity, a truly scary thought. The rise of hypermasculinity praises sexist attitudes by valuing traditional ideals that revolve around male power and dominance, especially in romantic relationships. The younger generation that are exposed to these radicalised ideals will be manipulated into believing that “alpha male” traits are expected by society, especially by the women they pursue.
Figures like Andrew Tate, who push their agendas of traditional masculinity through social media, influence men’s perception altogether. Shane Gillis’s recent appearance on SNL provides another example of how comments about women perpetuate casual misogyny. These degrading comments show how casual misogyny is planted, which infects further than everyone realises. These are the type of role models that young men aspire to and precisely why romcoms are so politically relevant as they teach young men not only how to treat women with respect, but with romance too.
Newer romcoms like Off Campus are exactly the type of male role models I believe are vital. It centres around college students who are very typically masculine – but without the toxicity that usually surrounds male athletes. The show promotes key strengths in a healthy relationship: themes of consent, emotional maturity, and vulnerability. On social media, the characters are nicknamed by their actions like ‘Consent Is Key’ Dean and ‘Closed Cans Are Safer’ Logan confirming how the show is challenging the sexualisation of women and their bodies by prioritising their partners safety and comfort over their own needs. This type of behaviour should be the norm in any relationship and is extremely relevant to be portrayed in order to set an example.
As a girl who has probably watched a scary amount of romcoms, I think there is a clear reason why they are so popular. These films validate women’s desires in relationships while removing the taboo around men and vulnerability.
My favourite scenes are always when the male lead opens up rather than succumbing to societal expectations, an attractive trait that men may find shocking. It adds a level of humanity and softness to these men that women find comfort in.
Many romcoms feature male characters running to declare their love, like in How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, is the level of romance every girl yearns for. Some would argue that watching movie-level gestures instils unattainable standards which means I have to ask myself: “am I setting myself up for disappointment?”
I would like to believe that I am not naïve enough to expect a gesture like this. However, I have to admit that watching Ryan Gosling’s character in The Notebook build a dream house for someone not even in his life, does make a girl dream.
Ultimately, it is what the gesture represents that I care about.
His love and devotion for fulfilling her dream without expecting anything in return represents what I think relationships should reflect. In a society where women are over-sexualised, undervalued, and disrespected, men must stop being intimidated by the feminine label that is attached to romcoms.
Besides, even if romcoms do set extremely high expectations, why is that so bad? They promote positive behaviors and set examples for the type of love everyone deserves.
Words by Nancy McCormack