Is being “me” too much to ask for?
Eden Cheung writes about their experiences as a non-binary individual on the NHS waiting list.
Image Credit: Flickr
I know a stranger.
I’ve known that stranger for years now. I see the same face whenever I look into the mirror. I hear the same voice whenever I speak to my friends. I’ve known this stranger for so long that I’ve even grown accustomed to every little habit and mannerism. It’s like I’m being haunted or stalked; I’ve ignored, hurt, tried every way to get this stranger to leave me alone. But he won’t.
The worst part is, I look in the mirror and know exactly who the stranger I’m looking at is – I just don’t want “him” to be me.
As someone who is non-binary, those are my feelings towards gender dysphoria: wishing with all my heart that I could one day wake up as anything but a boy. When I finally decided that I wanted to medically transition, I went to the Leeds Student Medical Practice (LSMP) to be referred to the Leeds Gender Identity Service. Imagine my horror when I was then told that I’d been put on the waiting list for at least five and a half years before I could be referred to a doctor for treatment.
The Problems with the NHS Wait List
The average waiting times for the NHS have more than doubled since 2018 according to the BBC, with the waiting list continuing to grow.
An operational review by Dr David Levy in 2025 on the NHS adult gender dysphoria clinics (GDCs) revealed that due to the long wait times, at least 150 patients a month have “aged out”, meaning they were not seen or dropped out. Dr Levy described the waiting time for GDC services as “unacceptable”, as many older trans people have stated that they’d given up on even joining a list due to the long wait times, likening it to ‘a death sentence’.
The majority of referrals are now from individuals between the age 17-24, which the review states has a higher proportion of additional neurodevelopmental conditions, such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and a broader range of biopsychosocial issues, such as mental health conditions, trauma or abuse during childhood compared to patients referred in the past- to which NHS bodies in England, for example West Yorkshire NHS, have also imposed an at least two year waiting list for diagnoses of neurodivergency.
Shortly after Dr Levy’s review, the NHS made an initial response accepting that the waiting time for gender services were unacceptable, and reassured that they are taking their next steps in taking action to improve the services of GDCs.
The NHS are not the villains
It’s important to recognise that the NHS are not the bad guys here. They’re overstretched and working with limited resources from the British government. I am eternally grateful for my GP for providing me with mental support and guidance all this time, but even though I understand the situation, it doesn’t stop the frustration.
Despite that, how long could I keep waiting?
Can I keep standing still, hoping that one day in the ever-distant future that I could finally be “me”?
And what about the hundreds of thousands of other transgender and non-binary people? How much longer are they expected to spend waiting for permission to live a life that could’ve been lived, all the while suffering from prejudice and scorn from wider society.
Could that even be called living anymore?
Words by Eden Cheung