Everything I did wrong in Freshers Week

Not going to every freshers event.

I didn’t buy any freshers wristbands or tickets before coming to uni. I’m not the biggest clubber to begin with, and I figured I didn’t want to tie myself to fixed plans. Better just to see what happens, I thought- my best friend told me (from experience), that I would just ‘get sloshed’ with my flatmates and that would be that. Best friends forever. Still, I worried. What if everyone went to the same event and bonded over Jägerbombs while I watched Netflix alone in my room? And yeah, some people were planning outfits and pres hours after meetings, a friendship speedrun before my eyes. I felt pressure to say yes to everything and to go out every night because that’s what you do in freshers. But the best thing about freshers is that although people have heard of Mad Monday and Full Fat and seem to be an expert of where to go and what to do, no one really knows. For me, it was going and walking around an abandoned campus and getting Thai food at the Trinity Food Hall that bonded me with my flat. And yes, the nights out did end up being fun- nothing quite beats a girl’s first Fruity’s . But I spent nights reading or calling friends that fulfilled me just as much- balance is important and people, perhaps surprisingly, respect the courage to stay in.

2. Being the first to move in.

I chose one of the earliest move in spots possible, figuring an extra day or two at home wouldn’t really make a difference. I also wanted first dibs on fridge and cupboard space. Others who moved in early said it was boring and depressing- university didn’t start for them until the flat was complete. I disagree. I was about to share space and a social life with these people for a year, and I wanted to savour my newly found independence in its fullest form. I got to take my time decorating my room, transforming it into my cozy haven. Most importantly I got to experience the quiet magic of my new home city before the thousands of students who called it home returned.

3. Overpacking/ not packing enough.

Yes, I somehow managed to do both. The week before university was a blur of Dunelm, Robert Dyas, and John Lewis trips. In my family, buying new things is rare. I’m pretty sure my parents sent me off with the same kitchen utensils they’d received as wedding presents. I had almost six boxes full of ‘freshers’ essentials but still, I worried that I was missing something unbearably essential- the proverbial blue tack of my new life. But the entire point of freshers week is to find out what you’re missing- the – mattress topper your flatmate has that might make accommodation-provided mattresses bearable, the adapter you didn’t know your electric toothbrush needed, the bin you stupidly assumed came with the room. Adversely, my mum argued that I was overpacking and bringing a record player and two different Afghan coats was frivolous. I disagree. Even the most random things you’ll use at least once before they hibernate under your bed for the rest of the year.

4. Not getting to know my flatmates before moving in.

Although I found a few flatmates through a questionable freshers WhatsApp group, proceeding to form a snap group chat in which the extent of the conversation was everyone’s course and where they were from, I didn’t really know any of them by the time I had moved in. I worried that this would set me back in friend-making. What if it was awkward? What if they were awful? But then I walked into the kitchen, said hi to the strangers on the sofa, and got a text from another flatmate asking if I was around to meet. I got close with one of my flatmates because we both stayed up late and would meet in the kitchen when we made midnight cups of tea. Another woke me up to ask for Otley run costume opinions. Flats who get really close before lectures even start are nice and all, but when handed the potential of an entire cohort clear of preconceptions, it’s remarkably fun just to take each new interaction as it comes.

5. Getting really, really ill.

I’m obviously being dramatic. It was just a cold. But the mortifying ideal of being curled up in my bed with the flatmates I had just met bringing me buttered toast and checking I was still alive was an interesting start to living together. I cursed freshers flu for making me miss valuable kitchen and pub socializing minutes that surely would have led to lifelong friendships and altered my entire university experience. I didn’t get to go the GIAGs for the obscure sports I had decided would become my thing after a five-minute chat at the freshers fair. Okay, this one I can’t find a sneaky silver lining for. But rest assured, the beastly freshers flu will attack everyone at one point or another, and barely being able to hear your lecturer over the sound of coughs and sniffles is a bizarre sort of bonding experience.

I guess the point I’m trying to get at is although many conversations over the course of my first year focused on the things I wished had gone differently. I’m happy with the way things have ended up. It’s so easy to feel as though freshers week is the decider for how your year will go, and there’s a pressure to live up to expectations. TikTok is flooded with people making videos with their first year flats. This fills me with nostalgia (I’m lying, I’m mainly just jealous), but I remember how it felt to see that type of content before moving in. If I wasn’t best friends with my flat and making transition videos before a big group night out, would I have failed? My biggest worry was missing out, though. Not finding the sports and passions and societies and friendships that I was so sure would be waiting for me because I made the wrong decisions in the first week. But the funny thing about university is that there really is no timeline- it’s as easy to make a true friend in the last week of the year as it is the first. GIAGs happen all through the year and what is meant for you will find you. Funnily enough, the things I worried about became some of my favourite memories.

Words by Maja Wasielewski