Crossroads: the Excitement of Arriving at University v.s. the Anxiety of Being Away from Home

Crossroads are a key aspect of everyday life, something inevitable that we will always encounter and have to struggle with. Entering university is the goal we have been working towards our entire life for many of us. We spent countless hours slaving over revisions in order to meet the grades needed to get into university. Everyone I spoke to before coming to university would tell me how it was the best years of their life, and how much I was going to enjoy it. What a lot of people fail to mention is that while down one road there is all the excitement of meeting new people, exploring a new city and getting ridiculously drunk to the point of not remembering anything the next day, there is also another road, full of homesickness and anxiety.

To some of us, university is our first time being away from home for an extended period of time, and while it is full of excitement, it is also incredibly daunting, and sometimes we have no idea what is going on. Personally, it has been the biggest change I have ever experienced, and the first time I have had to deal with it without having my parents by my side. There have been days when I have met people who could potentially be my new best friends and simultaneously called my mum to cry about how lonely everything feels, making figuring out my emotions that much more confusing.  Starting university might be the most emotionally confusing experience I have ever had, and my mind is stuck at a massive crossroad of whether I am loving or hating every day (and most of the time I feel both). However, in the two weeks I have been here, I have already learnt how to navigate this crossroad. 

Everyone is in the same boat 

You might’ve heard of this, but it is undeniably true. I have had many chats with my flatmate about homesickness and how tough some days are, but we both know we aren’t alone in how we are feeling. Knowing everyone is in the same boat can also be encouraging, especially when it comes to making friends. You shouldn’t be afraid to put yourself out there, as everyone is looking to make friends and will feel similarly anxious. If you don’t feel comfortable with your flatmates or are struggling to reach out to people, there are plenty of resources at the University. You can always contact Student Information Services for support and someone to talk to, and academic personal tutors are also available if you need some advice.

Get out of your room!

When you are feeling lonely or still recovering from freshers’ flu, it is very easy to want to skip out on going to socials or lectures, or simply put off the food shop for another day. However, it truly makes a difference to have something planned for your day. It might just be a quick chat outside of a lecture with a course mate, but there are small bits of hope in every part of your day that you just need to look out for, like getting your washing done or cooking a nice meal for yourself. Each day doesn’t need to be the most productive day ever, and you should feel proud of yourself for small achievements.

It is okay to call home, or even plan a visit  

Before I came to university, I overestimated how well I would handle it, telling my parents I might not even come back for reading week. I have quickly realised that I miss home way more than I anticipated and am planning on going home for a weekend soon. This is not admitting defeat. For some, a weekend with your family might be just the fuel you need to keep going. For others, it might be wiser to ask your family simply to come visit you if you are really struggling; you might not want to come back once you have been home. It takes time for things to get better, but it is important to stick it out. 

Even though some days are tough, I do find comfort in knowing that everyone around me is on the same journey, and even if we are handling our homesickness in different ways, None of us is alone in this crossroad. No one gets used to university instantly; many of us will have moments where we crash and want to throw the towel in, but it will take time for all of us to settle in, build friendships and find a routine, and once we have, it will all become a lot easier.

Words by Katie Coffin