The Great British Squid Game

I’m sure by now you’ve all binged the latest Netflix hype, Squid Game, and even if you haven’t watched it yourself, I can almost guarantee you’ve at least heard of it. 

For the benefit of those who are still slightly confused by the premise of this article, Squid Game is a new series on Netflix where people are invited to play a series of six classic Korean childhood games where if they succeed in all six, they will win a huge sum of money. Seems simple enough right? The only caveat is that if they lose any of the games, the players aren’t just sent home, they are shot dead in an instant. 

However, as this show is a Korean delicacy…has anyone thought about what a British version would look like? Here are my suggestions:

Game 1: British Bull Dog

What better way to kick off the Great British Squid Games than with a giant game of Bull Dog? I don’t know about you, but Bull Dog actually got banned in my school for being too violent. However, as nothing is off the cards in these games, it would be an ideal way to shoot down numbers straight away – as brutal as it may sound. 

Game 2: Thumb wars

Round 2 could be a great opportunity for the pairs round, and what better battle than a thumb war? A straight head-to-head, best of five battle of the thumbs where there can literally only be one winner per pair.

Game 3: Dodgeball

For the third game, it would only be right to have a team challenge similar to the tug of war played in the Netflix show. To me, dodgeball is the obvious choice here. I mean, who didn’t love a good game of dodgeball back in the day? Players would have to choose their teams wisely in order to succeed through to the next round. 

Game 4: Duck Duck Goose

By game four, numbers would have dropped dramatically, especially after whole team eliminations in game number three. Therefore, this would be the perfect opportunity for a rather nostalgic game of duck duck goose and the perfect way for the contestants to get rid of the remaining weakest links within the group.

Game 5: Twister

Next up, we have a real challenge. By this point, players are so close to the finish line that it would be such a shame to fall at the final hurdle – quite literally! With a time limit of 15 minutes, those who haven’t fallen down when the timer runs out automatically progress to the final round and I’m sure you’ve got the gist by now that the fallen soldiers are instantly eliminated.

Game 6: Musical chairs 

For the final round, there can be only one winner, making musical chairs an obvious choice here. The rules are simple: when the music stops, the player who lands down on the singular chair in the middle of the arena wins the prize fund, which would translate at a hefty £28.2 million!

Technically, the British version of the games should be called ‘musical chairs’ as ‘Squid Game’ is the final round of the Korean original. Then again, ‘musical chairs’ doesn’t really have quite the same ring to it, so the name of the games is for now still a work in progress.

The games really are a life-or-death situation and as much as I adore the games listed above, I’m still not sure I’d be signing up to participate any time soon.