“Why Aren’t You Drinking?”: Sobriety as a Fresher
Jessica Hepworth gives an insight into being sober at university- and why honesty is often the best policy.
Image Credit: Fred Moon / Unsplash
It’s a Friday night, and I’m staring at the notes app on my phone screen. I attempt, and ultimately fail, to craft a digestible explanation for my sobriety. Something brief, but assertive. Something that I can actually say out loud. Something that I can whip out of my pocket at a moment’s notice. I weigh up whether lying about it will be more efficient than explaining why I order a sprite over a cocktail at the pub later that evening.
Not drinking at university can be particularly overwhelming when the majority of socialising appears to be centred around it. With post-lecture pints and sip and paint sessions being the mainstay of many social invitations, beginning my first year unable to drink left me dreading how I would achieve the ultimate “university experience” that everybody craves. However, my concerns weren’t as rooted in the truth as I originally believed; there are plenty of ways to get involved even if you don’t drink.
Much to my surprise, being sober and enjoying a night out are not mutually exclusive. Experimentation, I’ve discovered, is crucial to determining your preferences, whether that’s a bit of fierce competition at the local pub quiz or dancing until your feet scream at you to stop. Overcoming the mental block can be tricky and will take some practice, but you soon come to learn that most people don’t care if you’re sober!
That isn’t to say that you won’t occasionally hear the odd “Just have one!”. Ensuring that you always have a drink in hand, even if it’s just tap water, is one way to avoid the awkwardness that follows a peer-pressured scenario – you’re much less likely to be offered a drink if you already have one.
Equally, it’s important to remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation (shocking – I know). While being open and letting others know your reasoning might make your life a bit easier, that doesn’t make it necessary. If you really don’t want to use the explanation you stored in your notes app earlier, then you don’t have to!
If you do decide to let people know, don’t be afraid to be straight up about it. Downplaying your sobriety as a one-off situation is more likely to present issues for you going forward. Although masquerading it as being on antibiotics or having a 9 am lecture the day after may feel easier in the moment, remember that, depending on who you’re with, it’s probable that they will eventually discover that you never drink. You can divulge as much or as little as feels safe for you, and this could fluctuate depending on the person.
Being met with misunderstanding hurts, and it’s normal to be concerned about how others might react. Don’t give up; genuine friends will meet your decision with respect, so you can happily accept their invitations without the worry of having to defend yourself.